hand me the keys...

So, once upon a time back in the dark ages of 2002 or so, I came across a film magazine (it was probably either Empire or Total Film, as I was pretty into both of those when I was in England) that had a write in contest of sorts for mangled movie quotes.

They asked people to send in their favorite TV edits. Yanno, from back in the day when you couldn't say shit or damn on television.

I am asking the same question today. Do you have any favorite tv edits? Lines that were so unutterably ridiculous as to basically ruin the movie for you?

I know, most tv edits are terrible anyway, pretty much worthless. We could debate the merits of editing versus simply blotting out the curses for ages.

My personal favorite is from The Usual Suspects. The first time I ever saw the film was on USA one night back in my impressionable teen years.

The line, from the line-up scene, is supposed to be, "Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker."

The edit, uttered by every. single. character. is "Hand me the keys you fairy godmother."

Cracks me up just thinking about it. Come on, imagine Kevin Pollock or Stephen Baldwin or Benicio Del Toro saying that! Cracks you up too, doesn't it!