School's out forever!*

Monday night, I took my final exam at the Baltimore School of Massage.  I got an 82.  Needed a 70 to pass.  Considering I spent more of Sunday avoiding studying than actually studying, I'm quite happy with what I earned.  As is generally the case when we take exams, I was the first one finished.  I don't know if it's that I test fast, that i read fast, or that I generally go with my first instinct when i'm not sure of a question, and afterward tend not to dwell on it but just leave it, or some combination thereof, but i think there was only once all year where I wasn't the first one finished.  I'm certainly not bragging about it.  I used to sit and wait in high school, just to make sure I wasn't the first one to turn in a test.  I don't bother anymore.  I didn't have a book to read (i'd forgotten a new one, and finished the one i had at lunch), so I went for a drive.  I got my last meal at Hardees (it's too far to go for fast food, yanno?), and then i went out and drove past my godparents' old house (they've moved to Rehobeth).  I loved that house, and wish it was mine.  on my way back to school, i turned down a street i'd always wondered about, and took a bit of a drive that way as well, before turning back.  I feel like i got done the few things that i'd always wanted to, being in that area, but never had.  it feels complete, if that makes sense.  that little drive felt like closure.   

 

I am finished school.* 

 

I can't quite believe I just typed those words.  Finished.  Fin.  Finito.  Done.  Carve me up.  It doesn't yet seem totally real, to be honest.  But I'm ecstatic anyway.  No more hour long drives four afternoons a week, to get from work to school.  No more tunnel twice a day.  No more contending with the fact that the tunnel is two way most nights.  No more getting home at ten o'clock at night--unless I'm out doing something I want to be doing!  No more anatomy, no more physiology, no more lecture, no more bodywork.  I'll miss my class, and I hope we manage to keep in touch.  But I'm glad to be finished with the stress and the general... difficulty of that schedule.  I loved school, and I always love learning, but going to class four nights a week got to be really rough, especially towards the end.  I am very proud of myself for sticking it out, for finishing.  There were a couple times when I just wanted to quit, just to catch up on sleep.  But I didn't.  I slogged through.  I made it through annoyances, hardships, my dad's death, general sick-of-it-all-ness, intense desire to give up, disgustedness with the clinic, with some of the ways in which the skool was run.  I stuck with it, I finished.  I made it through the whole year.  I think that's pretty awesome. 

 

I have free time again.  I'm so used to NOT having any time to do anything, that I think this is what feels weirdest.  I can't quite figure out what to do with it yet.  Last night, I stopped at the Giant on my way home and picked up my Rxes.  When I got home, i simply veged out.  I put on my pjs early, and i watched some tv.  I ate something, i had a nice glass of wine (out of the champagne goblet again).

 

I'm excited about starting some projects.  i started to read "stich n bitch" last night, and i'm very excited about learning to knit.  i'm going to work to stick with it, to teach myself.  I might see if I can find a local knitting group, folks to help me with some of the n00b questions i'm sure to have.  or else i'll have to call my grandmother.  but she knits left-handed, i think, and i'm a righty.  I'm going to attempt to start a second library for my music on my mom's iTunes, so that maybe I can load my music onto my iPod again (stupid compy).  I'm going to start walking next week. 

 

i think i'd like to learn how to make chain mail jewelry as well.  i know, that's kinda a random thing, but i love chain mail, and i think it would be fun to learn how to make it, and to make pretty things out of it.  I want to pick my Tarot deck back up, get to know it better.  i want to read my book on reincarnation, do some exploration of my past lives (find out if, as as Astrology.com insists, i really did once live in Atlantis!  ;).  i want to start a meditation practice, as well as a yoga practice.

 

one thing at a time though, right?  i'm just so excited about starting to flex my creative muscles again.  i hope they aren't too badly atrophied!

 

Walking was something I was planning on doing this week.  But i've changed my mind again.  Instead I'm going to rest and rejuvenate this week.  I'm going to read, and watch the second season of Supernatural again, and I'm going to go to bed early.

 

I've got some organizing to catch up on around the house.  I've got tons of shit of my own to file, to go through, to throw away.  i need to go through the crap under my bed.  I need to find a place to put my school books.  i need to clean off and dust my desk.  i need to weed through my books and put some in storage.  maybe i'll even find some more to sell.  i know, i know, it's difficult to part with books.  but parting with some makes room for new ones.  i'm going to list them on Amazon, I think.  or else Alibris.  has anyone else here ever bought from them?

 

I also need to clean out under my couch.  and in my couch.  and vacuum in general.  i need to finish packing away my dishes and perhaps clear out some of hte other clutter about the room.  after that i need to go through all my crap in storage, and get rid of as much of it as i can handle parting with.  i think a lot is going to be donated to goodwill.  and i think i might have a yard sale as well. 

 

there's a bed frame in the back room that i want to pull out.  if it's in good enough condition (we think there might be some water damage to the one side, so it depends on how bad that is), i want to re-finish it and then put it together.  i've never had a true headboard-and-footboard bedframe, so that will be nice. 

 

My car?  yeah, it's a mess.  it DESPERATELY needs to be cleaned out and vacuumed.  so there's another project i'd like to work on getting through.  I don't like my car to be messy and yucky.

 

there's lots to do, and it feels wonderful that i now have some time to maybe get started doing it.